I don’t want to kiss you like you love me

I don’t want to kiss you like you love me

Rather like the bird sits daintily

of some earthen branch

and of course the world ends all the same

and again the summer ends            pained

glasses on windows painted do not compare

to the beauty or disfiguration of our

metaphorical dance in the bright of the sun

painting the white canvas with pain

my mood is not your mood-not your fathers

or mothers discord thrown upon me

would be enough to misremember how

after we’d just met you spoke in the language

of food        seven months 8 months 9

we sealed our future together

& my only person I could spend the day with

Day after day in silence marveling

At your breasts while my           pain melted

Tasting you            nectar of gods

Until sealed with a promise         you hate

Yourself      you hate me

In songs of fall out boy you retreat far away

So that your pain is suppressed         leave me alone

To wash my pain in numbness       hopefully

Maybe     you still will come back

You still have so far          and our fights

Are always worse during that time of month

When the blood pours out of your body-

Another reminder of the baby you still

Want to carry but would get in the way of the fact

We’re poor          and still have so many plans

And you hate me because I remind you of your father

That I have not solved your ache

That flesh and blood and         love shot Sickness cannot fill your void