Drunk on my own shambles-
Drunk on my own faults-
Perhaps what I cannot see
Is what I refuse to comprehend,
Because it’s easier to just
not. It’s easier to just let the
ache roll off me like waves
crashing into the coast-
So dear friend you’ve picked a doozy
Of a friend to have-
I understand if you’re wanting to escape-
I often wish to run into that same ocean
Let it swallow me whole-
Somewhere there exists some form of
happiness or success or some virtue-
Tell me a little lie.
I will spend a lifetime fighting
Fighting for another chance
To hear it because I like the lies
but I hate the truth opposite.
Perhaps they are not lies.
Perhaps you have told me
the truth that I’m having a hard time
accepting because accepting
yourself is one of the biggest challenges
That all this doing, running, busyness-
It’s to prove to myself I’m adequate enough,
Or secure enough-
So perhaps we are just in a holding place-
A spell before the break.
A winter continuous shall eventually give
way to spring,
The ice melting into gushing streams
giving life upon the frost bitten edges of
Some years may pass before then.
Then all of the past will seem alien.
Like it was all a bad dream to remember
On the journey’s remainder.
So perhaps the journey is your own.
Separate paths of heartache,
Different times of belonging and drifting,
You know I want to take it with you?
Ah, but. I know some choices are not
as simple as they might seem. I know
Tell the others they are important too,
If you feel that way.
I would that you would wait with me,
My worst moments are when you are not.
My biggest injury is the absence of your truths